Convicts::2 boys were arrested, 1 was drinking battery acid and 1 was eating fireworks. They charged 1 and let 1 off.
Smurfs::If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Barbie::If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Hand Me Downs::Joe: When I would wear my hand-me-downs to school, all of the boys would make fun of me.\nMoe: What did you do?\nJoe: I beat them with my purse.
Sued::Jack and Jill\nWent up the hill\nTo fetch a pail\nOf water.\nJack fell down\nAnd broke his crown,\nAnd sued the farmer\nAnd his daughter.
New to Baseball::Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he asked.\n"You'll never believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the winning run!"\n"Really? How'd you do that?"\n"I dropped the ball."
Looking Back::The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was persuading them to buy a copy. "Think how nice it will be to look at it when you are grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"\nA small voice from the back rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's still old, nasty, and wrinkled"
Grammar::A language teacher was lecturing to his English class. "In English, a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive forms a negative."\nA voice from the back piped up, "Yeah, right."
Bribe::A teacher gave a big test to his students. Once the test was over, the students handed the tests back in. The teacher noticed one student attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the teacher handed the tests back. This student got back his test and $56 change.
School Board::The school board decided to remove speech and debate from the course schedule; there was no argument.
